YAY IT'S MY BIRTHDAY !!!

I am learning to write a recount about what we did in the holidays.
SC:

1. making sure we are sentence structuring our recount
2. No mistakes 
3. making sure it makes sense
4. using my punctuation correctly at all times

What would you do if you were working in a sweatshop ?

In my class we had to write a recount from the perspective (view) of a child working in a sweatshop. I chose to be a kid working in a clothing factory.

I was learning to use descriptive words and phrases to enhance the mood of fear or sadness.

I was successful because I got it done in time and I used descriptive language in my writing.

What I found easy was I knew what to right because it was all about the mood of sadness.

A Day At The Clothing Factory

On a early Monday morning I got out of bed and went to work. It was so dark I couldn’t see properly. I was so tired that I really wanted to go back to sleep but my boss wouldn’t let me. I had to stay up during the day.

Afterwards my boss came to see what the children were doing I was sewing clothes while everybody else was doing the same thing.  Nine hours later, I could smell all the nasty fumes going past me in the factory. I couldn’t stand it. I felt like I was going to faint. The other children that were in there looked sad and dirty. Kids: were wearing dirty clothing, some kids didn’t even had t - shirts or shoes just like me. When the buzzer rung all I had to eat was a bowl of rice. I only sat their for like three minutes and didn’t have time to eat my bowl of rice. So I had to hurry and shoved my rice in my face before my boss sees me.

At 11:00 pm I couldn’t stay here much longer I just needed to go outside to get some fresh air but instead of going out there I had to stay in and smell the fumes. Sew clothing and shoes,  It was tiring I just couldn’t handle those fumes.

Hours later it was almost time for me to go and have a rest.  “I don’t want to work. It’s just too hard”. Shang Wu said“But that’s the only thing you can do i’m afraid unless you have a better idea”. I replied“Huh so I guess I just have to stay here until my work is over?”.

Finally it was 8:00pm. When I walked out of the factory I finally got to have some fresh air and have some rest. “It is 8:00 pm I can finally go home to sleep”. I am so exhausted after working so hard in that factory. I want a good rest after sewing all those clothes. I couldn’t want anything more than having a good night sleep.

 

The Best Days Of My Life !

The Best Days Of My Life !

WALT improve our writing by carefully checking our sentences and trying to add descriptive language. My next step is to put more descriptive language in my writing to build my vocabulary. I will keep taking risks.

In the holidays my brothers, dad and I stayed home while my mum was in dunedin for 3 days. She went with Mrs Paraha, Mrs Simeon and mums best friend Stacey. On the first day we went to Kerikeri because my dad had to go to the warehouse to get some pants. We always like going there because there’s more things that people will want to buy. Next we went to pizza hut and the best thing that we liked was having a box of pizza to ourselves, it was so delicious.I was happy it  felt like it was my birthday.

For three days while mum was gone we played playstation. That’s what was really exciting because we haven’t been playing playstation for a while, so yeah that was cool. Chace and Hilton always liked playing their favourite games which I found boring. Because I didn’t like their games.They didn’t do much on their games they only mucked around with their characters. They didn’t do missions or nothing only running around and smashing things like nobody's business.

After that I put my favourite game on I was like “finally it’s my turn”, Chace and Hilton always said that my game sucks, but when they were bored they ran into the bedroom and played around in there. I was so excited that it was my turn because I can stay on it longer.  Later on Chace walked out and looked at the time he said, “your turn is way up” I turned to him and said not even” “yes”  “fine” we argued. I saved my game and gave the controler to him, he was so happy after that.

Hilton came out  I asked, “what are you doing Hilton”  “nothing” so he walked to the fridge seeing if he could find something to eat or drink. I sat on the couch watching Chace play his game. I keep telling him over and over and over to do some missions but my dad keep telling me“let him play his own game” “But it’s boring just watching him do nothing!”. When it became dark we had to put the playstation away Chace and Hilton were moaning because they wanted to play on it a bit longer . I think that was the best 3 days without my mum in my life, I wish it could happen again.

Watch out everybody the new fidget spinners have came out !

I am learning to use a variety of sentence types,simple,compound and complex. What I found easy was creating a recount on what you did in the weekend and using the sentences.

My next step is don't keep using the same words in my stories that I write and put more interesting words.

THE NEW FIDGET SPINNERS !

There I was, staring outside imagining things while we were driving to Kerikeri. “Are we there yet because  this ride is taking forever”.We were just sitting there like sloths slobbing around looking at the birds flying in the sky. We were going to order some pizza for dinner, well we were waiting we went into the shop next door to us. Chace was first to go in there, we were looking around. My mum looked on the counter, she asked me to come over to have a look at the fidget spinners. “How much are they,” I asked” they’re 18 dollars. “ I was like, “18 dollars that’s expensive even I can’t afford it!”.

Later on we went out waiting for the pizzas, they only took like a half & hour or so. As we were going to The Warehouse, I could smell the delicious pizza. I just couldn’t keep my eyes off it. It was like I was staring at gold. “My precious”, I was like smeagol on the hobbit movie.  When we arrived we all jumped out of the car except Hilton because he was taking forever to get out.

I was walking around in the shop looking at things that were on sale, Chace and Hilton went over to where the Lego were. I was having a look at the movies and the games. I went over to Chace and said, “Chace, you should come and have a look at this.” Why?” he asked. “Just come” I replied. So we went over there and had a look at what I was going to show him. “Here it is”. He had look “pretty cool right” I said. “That’s not cool that’s lame” he said. “Hahaha” I laughed. It was the Boss Baby movie. As we were leaving we went to the front desk to ask for our fidget spinners.

Finally we were going back home to enjoy our delicious pizzas and play playstation for the rest of the day. I will never forget that day when eating that delicious pizza and playing with our new fidget spinners.

THE DAY WHEN IT ALL HAPPENS IN KMART !

This is what I was learning this week WALT add detail to support the mood/feeling we are trying to create.

To be successful I will:

• Choose ideas that we can add more information for our reader (feeling, thoughts, what we saw)
• Add interesting adjectives and verbs
• Use language features such as hyperbole, rhetorical questions, simile, metaphor, repetition

.

I think I was successful because I had repetition and similes in my writing.

I still need to learn to make short sentences that make sense instead of going on and on about what happened.

T HE DAY WHEN IT ALL HAPPENS IN KMART !

This is a mysterious story and it can go on and on until you get to the best parts where it get's really good and really bad . Warning this story recommends ages 10 - 14 and it has violence that may disturb the peace of the little kids up to 5 years. So sit down and have some popcorn and a drink of L&P and enjoy reading the story.

On a nice sunny day my parents, my brothers and I went to whangarei in the holidays and here is what happened.

“Can we go to the Arthurs emporium mum” asked Chace “ok” mum said. So we were driving to the Arthurs emporium and when we arrived we got out of the car I wanted to buy something but I didn’t know what it was so I kept thinking while I was walking around looking at everything that was in there. Later on my mum wanted to stay there for a little bit so Chace walked around until he saw some kites it was a shape as a jet. My mum was looking for some pieces for here humpty dumpty that she wanted to make, I went bored because the shop was lame only Chace and my mum liked it. I wasn’t sure if Hilton or my dad liked it.

I asked my dad, ”Dad, can we go now ? This is boring. I want to go to Kmart. ” he said ”just wait for your mother” so I was wondering around like a sloth. My arms were swinging backwards and forwards just like a swing. Next minute I continued to look around at things while my mum was grabbing pieces for her humpty dumpty that she was going to make. After that we all hopped in the car I moaned “FINALLY LET’S Go !” I was so sick and tired of my brothers because they kept on talking  and talking and talking and talking. That’s when I felt really angry at them because I didn’t want to listen to those two I said “SHUSH!” they both stopped straight away. So we drove to Kmart I said “everytime we come in the doorway I always smell pizza but there is no pizza in here”. I really wished that there were actually real pizza in there, “Now that would be cool right”.

Afterwards we were searching for something to buy so Chace and I went to where the sports equipment was, while Hilton was with mum and dad. Chace and I were walking around in circles until we lost the others then we started to wonder where they were so we went around in the shop looking for them.

There was no sign of them so Chace and I split up and went around the shop until we found each other. Finally we saw Hilton coming towards us and  asked “we were looking for you guys”, “we were looking for you guys too”. That day wasn’t what I was expecting but I did have fun especially when Chace and I were running around in kmart that was cool actually because we were looking for them but we didn’t find them until we were leaving. The end of the story of darkness.

My Hilarious Birthday

This is my recount that I have been working on. I was learning to put more talking and putting adverbs into my story will be interesting for my readers.

My Birthday

On Wednesday My brothers, My parents and I were going to Whangarei because it was my birthday. I was so excited to go to Whangarei because I haven't really been there before. After driving for about half and hour we were almost in Kawakawa I like going to Kawakawa because they have 3 bridges and 2 of them are really fun because it feels like butterflies tickling your tummy when you go fast.

Gloomily I wished that we were rich so we can by a lot of stuff such as cars, clothes anything you want. After we were coming in towards the traffic where a lot of cars were.A few minutes later we were stuck in the traffic waiting for the red light to turn green. Impatiently I was like” Oh! come on already”. It was taking so long that I felt like I didn’t want to go anywhere.The red light finally switched to green light my brothers were relieved that the light finally changed. So we went to Rebel Sports first to see if we can find some new pare of shoes.

I wasn’t really interested of finding shoes so I went to Chace because it look like he found a game I didn’t know what it was so I asked him “what’s this game?” I think it’s soccer i’m sure,” CHace replied. Happily,  we grabbed a little ball that could fit just right and put it in the middle of the table. We couldn’t find a pare so we headed off to Kmart. “I always remembered the smell in there it smells like pizza which is my favourite”. Later on we were walking to The Warehouse I like this warehouse because it’s really big and it has more stuff inside.

When we were walking around I was getting sore legs I was slowing down I told mum”mum my legs are so sore”, she replied”go sit down somewhere” but I want to catch up with you”, I asked. So we went around while my brothers were looking at toys and stuff they even grabbed some water guns. We went for lunch I really like Burger King because they have the best burgers.

Who likes Burger Kings burgers?  Because I do and i’m sure you guys will too. Even though my mum and Hilton had KFC’s for their lunch. Finally we were driving back home mum said that when we get back where aloud to have playstation for the rest of the day. That day was the coolest because I like when we had Playstation at the end of the day. The End